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Last night I met a boy who was cute and intelligent and made me laugh like I havenapos;t in weeks. He walked me home and at my door he pulled me close and ran his hands through my hair while he kissed me. Upon walking into my house I was baffled by how easy the whole thing was.

Iapos;m NOT trying to say that this boy is my saving grace or anything, but he made me realize that there was never for one single second a moment with Taylor when things werenapos;t completely and totally complicated. And even though Iapos;ve had myself convinced of the fact that I will never love anyone more than him for the past year and a half now, Iapos;m finally realizing that I do not deserve all the things that he puts me through. For those few brief moments that weapos;re completely in love and throwing up puppies and rainbows on each other I have to suffer through months of uncertainty about how heapos;s going to act.

So, Iapos;m letting go.

Maybe someday heapos;ll realize what an amazing opportunity he missed by not being there for me the way that I needed him to. And I am not in any way the clingy and insecure person that I used to be. The only thing I have ever asked of Taylor is to NOT pull his disappearing off the face of the earth for indeterminate amounts of time deal.

I should not base my happiness on whether or not Taylor pays attention to me. I will not anymore.

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